TOC Meeting

Today I am here at Hollywood Road Education Centre. We’re having a TOC Meeting (Teacher on Call), discussing issues.

Obviously some teachers seem to have issues with things going on in their work days. Why does it seem to me that many of these things are non-issues? So many problems are fixed just by being a little flexible, understanding, and positive. People are bringing things up that I have encountered, but quickly dealt with simply by talking nice to the secretary and thinking of a solution.

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A typical school day

Yesterday was…somewhat typical.

I was at Mount Boucherie Secondary School.

The drive: The power went out in a large chunk of Kelowna, so every single light was a 4-way stop. Wheeeeee – see me use the gas pedal and brake, back and forth, back and forth. Wheeeee. Eeeeehw.

Pre-day: Run out to Portable nine in the new -8 degree temperature (not aclimatized yet, that’s for sure), smell a funny smell, grab the teacher notes, walk quickly back to the drama room on the other side of the school.

First period – Film and Television: The hilite was the electrician, who was working next to the normal entrance. He had the door locked, and asked anyone who knocked to go to the other entrance. Well, this perturbed a few students, and perturbed him that they were perturbed. I played mediator, and in my usual Arthurian way, was able to settle everybody down. The rest of the class was spent watching students work on their slideshow, as I also read a book that we would be working on in English.

Second period: Back to Portable 9. Well it does smell funny in here, and the teacher made some notes about sour milk in the furnace system by some highly intelligent bright students yesterday. It’s not that bad, I think I could get used to it, but the students (mostly) are congregated outside. “I’m not going in there.” “I’ll puke if we have class in there.” “Oh man!! It reeks!” “Can we have class out here?” Ya, in -8 weather. You’ll learn lots as you hold your arms instead of a pen. So, I’m calling the library “We were in the library yesterday.” The library is stock full. Call the office. “We’ll call you back……….”Yes, we can get you into Room 135.” “Ok everyone, pack it up and we’re going to room 135.” We arrived, and the period went relatively well as they silently read the book and worked on a project.

Third period: Back to Portable 9. The vice-principal and I thought that the smell wasn’t that bad, and indeed, after a few minutes, you did get used to it. But please refer back to Second period, which replayed itself out almost verbatim. Phone call. “He’ll meet you in room 108.” Off we go, back across the field (did I mention that part of the run out to portable 9?) into the school. During this class I finish the book they are reading. It has about 14 chapters, and I started at chapter 5 that morning, having read 1-4 (some skimmed) a couple weeks ago when I was here. I inform them of this, and they either don’t believe me (ok, what was chapter 10 about? Like I have the plot sectioned off in chapters in my head already) or are dumbfounded. C’mon, it’s an easy read. You’ve had at least 2 weeks, and every period of English you have 20 minutes of silent reading.

Both English classes were an exercise in classroom management and control rather than teaching, but welcome to being a teacher on call.

Lunch: mmmmmm – lucky enough to end up at MBSS on Oct.31, when the staff had planned a BBQ for lunch. Two burgers down the hatch, loaded up with onions, pickles, mustard and tomato. mmmmmmm

Fourth period: Over to room 138, and another supervision class of planning 10. Several of the boys seem to enjoy playing Slime Volleyball (which I love as well, but I have more discipline (sometimes) than an 18 year old boy). Today, one warning. Second time, off you guys go to the Den (high school’s version of a time out) “Oh maan. I thought there would be some sort of warning, like the rustling of your pants or the jingling of your keys!” Nope, sorry. I have inherited through osmosis the tracking skills of a jaguar, the silent padding of a cougar. Rowwwr.

By now, my head is fuzzy, and I am not thinking too clearly. Maybe there was something in those fumes-de-lait afterall.

Silence

I have not been able to write for awhile.

I have stared at the computer many times, and wanted to type, but there seemed to be nothing important to say. Or, if I wanted to say something, no way to get it out. And I thought, “Why can’t I type? Why don’t I care right now?”

To be honest, I haven’t cared. I have been too wrapped up in working, making money (we took a pretty big hit financially to make this job switch), coming home and resting and playing, waiting for the next phone call from Casper (our friendly impersonal computer program which doles out the Teacher on Call jobs each evening and morning), hoping for the magical run of 4 days in a row when my pay jumps from $190/day to $330/day, which, praise God, did happen 4 times this past month. In October, as a sub-teacher, I have almost made as much as I did for HCOS last year, with half the workload and a quarter of the stress.

But there I go yapping about money again.

Spiritually, it’s been a strange month. I have asked myself, “Why am I not seeking Your face Father? Why do I have little desire to do so?” In Psalms 27:8, it says, “When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.”, but I have said, not right now Father.

And to be honest, that’s ok. I am learning to say, it’s ok. Because there is a reason, and I am learning to relax and not try  to earn God’s favour by “doing all the right things.” I was reading about Henri Nouwen today in Soul Survivor, and he found even in doing all the right things, he still longed for more. The answers are not found in being a “good Christian” (whatever that means)

But I think I am pretty clear on my reasons for withdrawal. It is a bit of a recurring theme in my life. My wife and I were both attending counselling for awhile, and we explored some pretty deep issues. And I have found that when the deepest parts of me get touched, I have always had a tendency to freeze, withdraw, grow still, curl up, protect, pull back.  And I understand that, and that it’s ok.
Thank you to those who wondered where in God’s green earth and digital space I’ve been. Strength is found in weakness, wholeness only in brokenness, and freedom only when we realize the limits of ourselves. I think I am learning to enjoy the limits.

“With the help of the thorn in my foot, I spring higher than anyone with sound feet.”  Soren Kierkegaard.

Teaching….young adults

I feel so delinquent in writing. Life has a way of grabbing one, and throwing them to the ground, and then, I just haven’t felt like writing lately. I have let my mind wander to many other thoughts activities.

On the shallow side, it’s the new TV season, so my wife and I are checking out new shows. Frasier still rocks – I don’t think I’ve laughed as hard since the Cosby Show and Home Improvement. I am a diehard Survivor fan, and CSI: Las Vegas is proving to me that great writing still exists. CSI Miami has gone the way of the dodo bird, as the writers no longer maintain their original vision. We loved Horatio’s character because of his bent towards helping people, helping the victims, but it no longer makes much sense. Law and Order: Criminal Intent is also one of the best written shows. We started watching House – we like the main character’s quirkiness, but his ability to allow himself to even consider an affair with a 17 year old has us quesy. Sure, he’s lonely, it seems, a man, yes, but the honour is lost. There has to be some honour in it for me. That’s why I love Survivor, because I can cheer for the honourable ones, and Jeff Provst is one excellent human being – he gets it. Ethan will always be my favourite winner, because he did it the right way, and what he has done with his money and fame since is an example of humanity at its best.

Last Wednesday, I had worked only one day so far this school year. Yikes. Things were starting to hurt. Well, I’ve worked every day since – 2.5 at RSS, 2 at HCS, 0.5 at RMS, and 2 (after tomorrow) at KCS. I could have worked in the district both Tuesday and tomorrow, but had to turn them down. And I work next Tuesday at another school. So, things are looking up. And I love what I do right now. It’s fun popping into a classroom and endeavouring to earn the respect of 25 teenagers. No really, it is fun. Look, I wouldn’t want to do what half of you all do either. I’d be bored.

I got to teach Biology 11 last Friday. And, wonder of wonders, explain the theory of Evolution to them (namely natural selection, convergent and divergent evolution). Wow. I told the teacher that I was clearly on the side of the fence labelled “theory” – he was fine with that (we graduated together in high school – great guy). I found myself teaching it, and stepping out about 5 times, saying “But….” There are just so many holes.

But the main thing for me was looking at their faces. This is the theory of our origins. There should be some excitement about that. But there isn’t. How do you get excited about, “We are on this planet by absolute chance, randomness, luck. By all right we shouldn’t be. It was an accident.” You can’t! And they weren’t. There is a boredom about talking about us being here as being in the same class as salmon fighting upstream, and the one with bigger jaw gets the girl. Oh, and some males get lucky, passing on their genes too. Yawn. And the thing for me was that even the unbelieving understand that.

Worship!

• 
• reverent honour or homage
• adoring reverence or regard
• venerate: to regard ir treat with reverence or heartfelt deference
• deference: respectful submission or yielding to the judgment, opinion, will, etc., of another
• revere: to regard with respect tinged with awe
• glorify
• idolize
• adulate: to praise or admire EXCESSIVELY (caps mine!)
• reverent love or devotion
• ardent devotion
• to regard with ardent or adoring esteem or devotion
• devotion: profound dedication; consecration; earnest attachment to; Ardent, often selfless affection and dedication; feelings of ardent love
• feeling of profound love and admiration
• homage rendered to God which is sinful to render to any created being (or thing)

• ardent: having, expressive of, or characterized by intense feeling, passionate, fervent; intense, devoted, eager, or enthusiastic, zealous; vehement, fierce; burning, fiery hot, fervid, impassioned, avid, glowing, shiny, a burning enthusiasm

I ardently worship you Lord!

http://www.dictionary.com

It’s Thursday!

Today is one of those endorphin rich days. It’s amzing how one can feel so good one day, and others not. But I have to attribute today’s feelings to a few things:

1) My morning stretch-worship time. I went out in the back yard this morning, and applied some things I learned at a workshop the other day (note: the leader was right into Tai Chi, so I to gleaned out the good stuff). I spent about 10 minutes stretching and doing some of the movements I learned – stretching the spine, stretching my main areas of tightness, like my legs and back, moving around, and worshipping the whole time, as the new morning sun rained warnth down, and the cool morning and wet dew filled the air. It was glorious. And my soul was filled, (and, of course, the oxygen is now coursing through my body. Great way to start the day, with a song and a prayer and a stretch!

2) Now I am at Cher’s coffe house in downtown Kelowna, sipping a Highlander Grogg (large), listening to Jazz, on my favourite machine. Man. boom-daboom chick daboom babadoop dado deedledit chickdoboom. Does it get better?

3) I wrote a letter to the leadership of my old church, and finally sent it off. It took two years to write it – sheesh. Every time I sat down to write more, nothing would come. It’s been a very hard time dealing with the decision that it’s time to move on. I have attended there since I was 14, and I can honestly say that I would not be who I am today without them. So many beliefs, so many ways of seeing life and God, the awesome examples of what a healthy family looks like, which I didn’t have growing up, came from this body. In many ways, this was my surrogate family.

And that can be unhealthy too. And I know it’s time to move on. There is such an excitement in me as I seek and search for the Father in the midst of this transition. But finally writing that letter, and sending it off, was very freeing. I know that now I am able to move forward much more easily. Looking for the Father, each and every day. Father, where are you today? Where are you taking me today? I am listening. I am waiting, expectantly.

4) I am coming to some deep realizations of who I am, and where I have come from. It is an exciting journey of discovery. I ask that if you are reading this, pray that this process would continue. Old wounds are being healed, strengths are being solidified. I begin to feel somewhat like Rob Roy, righteous anger rising up in me against many beings and things that deserve that kind of anger. Make me mold me make me Holy Spirit. Keep me broken inside, moldable makeable supple. Maybe I am stretching spiritually too.

5) The new school year, and working with the public system. I am so eager to rub shoulders with the rest of the world. I have been incubated for so long. Get this bubble around me off – I want to tread where serpents and scorpions crawl, and nothing shall by any means hurt me.

Well, that was fun. Woohoo!

Organic Church: Neil Cole. Part II

“We believe that church should happen wherever life happens. You shouldn’t have to leave life to go to church.”

I remember when I was younger (and more idealistic for some silly reason), I wanted every time I got together with friends for us to have a prayer time, or a singing time – worship, basically a time where we touched the heart of the Father. Well, needless to say, it didn’t happen very often. Most people, even my strong Christian friends, weren’t interested in “getting spiritual” in normal every day contexts. But this is what Neil is saying, that church should happen whereever we are.

“Most Christians today are trying to figure out how to bring lost people to Jesus”. (p.24) Think about this phrase for a second. It sounds great, mainly because we have heard it so many times. Now consider “The key to starting churches spontaneously is to bring Jesus to lost people. We’re not interested in starting a regional church but rather making Jesus available to a whole region.” This makes more sense I believe. Cole talks about how so many of our churches go out of their way to attract people into the building, so that they can hear the message. I would dare to say that people just aren’t interested no matter what we do. They are seeking, but not enough to travel here and there. Taking Christ into their world, where life happens, is what Cole is advocating.

After many circumstances, and times where his heart broke for the young people of California in tears and prayers, he and some friends began to hang out at a local coffeehouse. “We played checkers, chess, or dominoes with the regulars who came to the coffeehouse, and we became part of the crowd. We would listen intently to people’s stories and offer compassionate prayer for those who were hurting. We did not preach at people, but they would often ask us about our spiritual lives….Before long my living room was filled with new life. Rather than move to a larger space, we sent small teams of two or three to other coffeehouses to start other churches.” (p.26)

I don’t want to get too long here, but I really want to quote Cole from page 26-27:

“These churches we were start were small (avg 16) and simple. …we valued a simple life of following our Lord and avoiding many of the complexities of the conventional church. Complex things break down and do not get passed on (to the next church), but simple things are strong and easily reproduced. Ordinary Christians were able to do the extraordinary work of starting and leading churches because the work was simple, the results powerful.

..’We want to lower the bar of how church is done and rasie the bar of what it means to be a disciple.’ If church is simple enough that everyone can do it and is made up of people who take up their cross and follow Jesus at any cost, the result will be churches that empower the common Christian to do the uncommon works of God. Churches will become healthy, fertile, and reproductive.

The conventional church has become so complicated and difficult to pull off that only a rare person who is a professional can do it every week. Many people feel that to lower the bar of how church is done is close to blasphemous because the Church is Jesus’ expression of the Kingdom on earth. Because church is not a once-a-week service but the people of God’s family, what they have actually done is the opposite of their intention. When church is so complicated, its function is taken out of the hands of the common Christian and placed in the hands of a few talented professionals. This results in a passive church whose members come and act more like spectators than empowered agents of God’s kingdom.”

comment – I find we often talk about being empowered agents, but I am beginning to believe that we can talk all we want, but the very structure of NA church hinders and limits the Christian, turning them unintentionally into that “passive church”

Last quote – “The organic or simple church, more than any other, is best prepared to saturate a region because it is informal, relational, and mobile. Because it is nore financially encumbered with overhead costs and is easily planted in a variety of settings, it also reproduces faster and spreads further. Organic church can be a decentralized approach to a region, nation, or people group and is not heavily dependent upon trained clergy.”

I like it. I am not living this yet, but it sure stirs up my spirit. Lord, may you lead us and guide us into the expression of Your kingdom that is healthy and growing. Do what You need to do in us to help bring Your life to the world around.

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Organic Church: Neil Cole. Part 1

I am leary of writing about this book. But I want a discussion. I have seen others battle with these issues, and then they just disappear. We didn’t take time to get down and talk about it. And most of my current readers are still intimately linked to an established organized church body. I do not mean to offend. But this book and its issues are stirring in my soul like a tsunami, and I do not believe for a second that it’s anything other than the Holy Spirit doing the quaking. It’s too broad, and too worldwide. As well, I push myself to talk about where we’re going, rather than where we’re coming from.

This book is difficult to write about, but I must. It churns up so much in my heart. I have attended so many services where I sing, pray, listen, watch, say hello to a myriad of people I care about, but not enough to have them over or phone. Why is that? Because there are just too many people. I have known them for years, but our biggest contact is the infamous Sunday morning. Are we part of each other’s life? In a way. And maybe that’s my fault too. I haven’t yet learned how to be more community oriented. Or maybe it’s the fact we’re in the early child raising years. Or maybe many others feel exactly the same way.

Anyways, as so many more are, I am avidly searching of the definition of church – Christ’s definition. And the church that raised me (and to whom I am most grateful) I do not believe is it at its essence. It has too much else added on. It’s “Jesus +”. Neil Cole has, in my opinion, removed all the extra and found the essence, the DNA, of the church, at its simplest.

As for the plus part, he spends the first section showing that indeed, the church is sick. If it was healthy, it would be growing. It should be growing. The North American model (European), all the world over, is failing. These type of churches are stagnating. He talks with Christians in Japan, who for the most part follow a NA model of the church. He mentions how 3 months ago, the percentage of Christians in Japan was 1%. They laugh. Then he mentions that 1 year ago, 5 years ago, 100 years ago, the percentage was 1%. They are not laughing, but almost crying. What’s wrong? Later Cole mentions the Passion, directed by Mel Gibson. It made $600 million gross – a lot of people saw it. The assumption was that people would be saved by the thousands (assumptions by the churches anyways). Attendance grew nil (and attendance seems to be our litmus test). Why is that? Because the people are interested in Jesus, but not in the church.

We have a lot of repenting to do. I have a lot of repenting to do. It just never seems to happen on Sunday morning.

Not a good cut of meat

pound
pound
pound

 

one hundred and seventy pounds of meat
hammered under the hammer
these times
this time
chips flakes drissle
chipped flaked being tenderly….no, tenderized
breaking apart

 

i breathe
breathe You in

 

only

 

may i smell sweet as You make me a better cut of meat

 

 

Summer Time

Summertime, and the livin’ is easy
Fish are jumpin’ (in our new pond – well, not just fish yet, but there are a few beetles, and maybe some bloodsuckers from the old pond we got a lot of the stuff from)
and the cotton is high (well, not cotton exactly. But our trees are doing well.)
Your daddy’s rich (well, not rich exactly. But according to most of the world, I am fabulously wealthy, and I know it. Man, we have it good in North America.)
And your mamma’s good lookin’ (yes, she is.)
So hush little baby (Please hush – shhhhhhh……..QUIET!!! Ok, actually, she’s the best baby yet as far as ease of care. But man, what lungs! At times, my ears ring and ring, not only form the sheer volume, but also from those incredibly high pitches she hits. How are they possible? And how is it possible that I can hear them? They should be out of the human frequency range.)
Don’t you cry (Actually, I hear that crying is good for babies. It builds their lung capacity and helps them learn to communicate. As well, when we respond, they know they’re loved! So cry away lil girl. Ok, you can stop now. No, really, it’s about time to stop now. Here, put a plug in it.)
One of these mornings
You’re going to rise up singing (Often they do – it’s so neat to hear them, or hear Shenoa playing the piano in the morning)
Then you’ll spread your wings
And you’ll take to the sky
But till that morning
There’s a’nothing can harm you
With daddy and mamma standing by (Actually, that’s not quite true. We try and try to protect them, but in the end, we have to give it over to Him, because there is a nothing we can do sometimes.

Ahhh, being a parent is so blissful at times. Yesterday, we went to the park, and I played Billy Goat Gruff with Shenoa and Abriel. “Who’s that trip trapping over my bridge?” “It is I, little Billy Goat Gruff” “Well, I’m coming up to eat you!” “Oh please don’t – I don’t taste that good. Wait for my bigger brother. He is much larger and tastier than I am.” And then we take turns being big Billy Goat Gruff and knocking the troll to kingdom come. That is fun. Then we had 2 minutes left (you know, the 2 minute warning), and they are trying to get up the ladder at the same time, and Shenoa moves her head, and BONK, bangs Abriel’s head, and the wailing and crying and gnashing of teeth – oh how quickly it changes. Heavy sigh.